Oh, how I wish I could tell you in person. There are truly no words that describe what and how you will feel. Also, you will not be able to really fully describe them to anyone. Jared took a picture of the clock at the exact moment each child was born. This has always been so precious to me to have. There will be times, years down the road, when you are thinking back on his birth, or when you are telling somebody about your experience, that the smells that surrounded you that day will encase you again. Hold on to them. Never let them out of your memory. I wrote each child the story of their birth in detailed form after we were home and settled. One took 9 months to finish, one took a year. Occasionally, I go back and write small things that come back, even now. Details that may slip your mind about that day will come back to you at the oddest moments. They say that after a while, when you don't hear a person's voice for so long, it disappears from your mind. It doesn't for me. Same as memories. They are as clear as this morning. Especially those memories involving my Babies.
I'll be honest, I am shedding a tear as I write this. I wish that I could, tonight, at this moment, describe to you the love that you will feel on Wednesday. I know you love him already with all of your being, but it is nothing compared to the feelings that will come. God knew what he was doing when he planned it all out. It is so hard to fathom the thoughts of those who do not believe in God, faith, and such, yet have children. Makes no sense.
There will be times, here shortly, that you will be tired. Exhaustion will take over your body, but your love for Nathan will overtake that. True love takes over, even at 3 AM. You will, no doubt, learn what it means to love until it hurts. You will shed tears, out of no where, and not really know why. Hormones? Maybe. I think it's pure love. I still cry, often, and you will also.
All of this really makes me think about God's love for us. Unfathomable and unending. That is how you will feel. I can't say enough. You will see, here shortly.
I am ecstatic for you both. This will be the best time of your lives. Everything in the past? It won't matter a bit. I remember your wedding day. You two are beautiful and amazing together. Keep it that way. There will be times that, due to exhaustion, etc, it may be hard to keep your marriage strong in certain areas. Work together, pray together (and alone,) and tell each other how you are feeling. Parent together. You'll do fine. I am so proud of you both, as a couple and as individuals. Please keep me updated. I am wanting to come and see you later in the week, but my car is in the shop. I hope to get it back so I can visit you. I want to bring you a little something.
You are so amazing, wonderful, and have such a beautiful spirit and soul. You will, no doubt, make an amazing mother. I can't wait to see it in your eyes.
Praying for you both.
All My Love,
Kelley
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